Showers

It's raining here today.   All day so far.  But the new fruit trees in the back yard need it, and our well is all the better for it.  Rain is good!

Yesterday I went to a baby shower here in town.  A co-worker's daughter is having a little girl in about 5 or 6 weeks.  I crocheted an afghan for the baby, found two cute summer outfits, and bought three Golden books. The invitation asked that people bring books to start building a library for the wee one.  Since I'm a big proponent of reading to children (and reading in general) this is always an easy thing to do.  I decided to go retro and get three of those little cardboard books that I used to read to my kids.  Heck they had them when I was growing up in the 60's, probably before that too.  My books/gifts stood out among all the other shinier, big chunky baby books.  The baby's mama seemed to really be excited when she saw them. Made me glad!

I got to the shower exactly at noon, and it was already crowded.  I only knew two other guests and they were already seated at a table surrounded by others.  So I was on my own to find a table.  I found one that had four women at it, sat at the opposite end from them and just stared at the table or glanced around the room.  I was hoping one of them would say something welcoming to me so I didn't feel like I was intruding on their spot.  But none of them even glanced at me.  And so I sat. And fiddled with my phone, and smiled at my co-worker from across the room when she smiled at me.  Not long after that she made a beeline to me and said "Oh thanks for coming.  Have you met these ladies?" and she proceeded to make introductions.  The other grandma, her daughter-in-law, the baby's paternal great grandma and yet another family member.  They nodded and smiled and murmured "nicetomeetyou....!" and when my friend walked away, that was the end of the conversation.

When we ate they talked to each other but not to me.  In the meantime my friend's sister and her daughter sat with me, and the three of us talked a little, but not much.  I went out to my car to get my camera and when I came back, someone had taken my chair.  A friend of theirs. I had left my purse on the seat but they moved it.  So .... I moved to the only other empty chair at that table.  I took more than 100 pictures as a favor to my friend with the intention of uploading them to Facebook later that day.

I kept sitting there and thinking about how much I missed this kind of get together in Pittsburgh, where I grew up and lived until we had to move due to a job change in 2002.  I miss my Pittsburgh family and friends a LOT even after 11 years.  And I don't have to give it much thought to realize that if I'd been to a baby shower in Pittsburgh and arrived not knowing many people there, I would have easily made friends or at least had a stimulating conversation with those around me.  I'm not an unfriendly person.  I'm usually the talkiest person in a room at gatherings like this.  But where I live, natives from this area say they are all so friendly and so on.  But I don't find that to be the case at all.  We've lived in this community for six years and in all that time, we've only been invited to a handful of parties or celebrations. I don't know what to make of it.  I've asked at least two or three women if they'd like to get together with their husbands and the four of us go to dinner once in awhile. They say "Oh great idea! I'll get back to you!" and no one does.  I could be pushy and pursue it further but I like to think that maybe someone else will broach the subject once I have.  And it hasn't happened.

Thank heavens for my big family.  I see them as often as I can throughout the year and fill up my head and heart with conversation and love, hoping it will last me a long time.  If it wasn't for email, cell phones, Facetime, Skype and Facebook I'd be a despondent mess.  I AM married to my best friend so that helps a lot, and we have our furry friends here at home.  I really, really hope that when the house next door to us sells, we get new neighbors we can get together with for cookouts or at least sit in the driveway in the evening and b.s., like we used to do with neighbors in Cincinnati (the first place we moved to when we left Pittsburgh).